It is April 5th, 2024. We are backstage at the DAC Constitution Hall in Washington DC. Bret Bair of Fox News – Special Report, is on my left. Bob Ballard, the man who found the Titanic, is on my right. The three of us are listening to our stories being told by video to the assemble audience of Horatio Alger Association members, our families, and dignitaries. The curtain rises, the lights are blinding, we walk out to our mark as the audience rises as one for a standing ovation. The photos’ will show that I am looking to the left – to my proud family. It was surreal. There I was between two iconic figures receiving one of the highest honors in America – The Horatio Alger Association of Distinguished Americans award. The pinnacle of my career. My American Dream. A life – well shaped.
Flash back over 50 years to Bell’s Corners, a small village outside of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I was humiliated. My school friends had just ridden their bicycles past our humble 900 square foot home laughing at our front yard. In 1962 homes were sold with gravel driveways and no grass – just dirt. All the neighbors paved their driveway and sodded their front lawn. Not the Donnelly family, we still had a gravel driveway, and my practical father had planted potatoes – in our front yard.
How is it possible that a humiliated young boy from Bell’s Corners, Canada was standing between Bret Bair and Bob Ballard on stage at DAC Constitution Hall in DC? That is the question this book will attempt to answer. To this day, I still marvel at the journey that is my life. I am healthy, wealthy, happily married to my childhood sweetheart, surrounded by loving family and friends, and living in the greatest country in the world. If I could codify and share the steps, I took to allow me to live the American Dream, my life would be complete.
I acknowledge that a white male living in North America has a leg up on most of the rest of the world. I am certainly not comparing myself to anyone else who either started with worse circumstances or has achieved more. However, I only have one story to tell, mine, and I am hoping that your life will be enriched because of reading this book. My wish is that some part of my story and the processes that created it – resonate with you.
The concept of LifeShaping came to me fifteen years ago. I was always intrigued by design. The poster child of design in my world was Steve Jobs. He obsessed over design in every product Apple produced. We are all the beneficiaries of his obsession. I loved designing homes. I was intrigued, and sometimes frustrated, by the design of products. What about a life, my life, could there be a better design for my life? Most people live their life like a leaf on a stream. If the stream goes left, the leaf goes left. That seemed like a bad design to me. Could someone design – shape – their life? Mmm – LifeShaping – what a concept.
Fast forward to today and I realize by embracing the principles of LifeShaping, I had taken my life to a whole new level. I became very conscious and observant of the thoughts and decisions I was making to shape the life I truly wanted. I have been journaling since 1986 and have captured all the significant successes and failures that I have experienced. Once I came up with the concept of LifeShaping, my journaling became more deliberate. Why did I succeed? Why did I fail? What were the factors that led me to both those outcomes?
LifeShaping is intended to be a reference book for shaping the life you desire. Chapter 1 begins with a discussion of why you are who you are today. This is followed, in Chapter 2 by a review of the latest research on how we can rewire our brain to live the life we want – with intention.
Chapter 3 is probably the most important chapter in the book. Defining what you want. As the old saying goes – if you don’t know where you are going – any path will get you there. If you are going to utilize the principles of LifeShaping, you must know and be able to articulate what your well-shaped life looks like.
Chapter 4 facilitates an inventory of where you are now. If we know the starting point and the end point, we can create a path from A to B.
The remaining chapters break down the LifeShaping principles into actionable steps. First discussing the science behind each step, then translating that into actionable steps for designing your life.
Before we jump in, I would like to state that the contents of this book are based on my reading and my experience. I am not an expert in psychology, neurology or biology. What you are about to read is my experience and learnings that took me from Bell’s Corners to the Horatio Alger stage in DC.
I would also like to acknowledge that I have read hundreds of self-help books that have helped me on my journey. I have no intention of providing references for any thought or concept, they have all synthesized in my brain and I will simply say thank you to all those brilliant thought leaders that have come before me.
All proceeds from this book will be donated to the Horatio Alger Association to be used to advance their mission of providing smart, but less fortunate, students with scholarships to help them live their American Dream.
I have been sharing the LifeShaping concept with friends and family for the last ten years and the LifeShaping term has crept into our vernacular. We collectively use the term as a verb. I did some LifeShaping today. My hope is that you and your family incorporate this new verb. Once LifeShaping becomes part of your daily conversations, it is incredible how you look at everything you are doing through a new lens.
Wishing you a well-shaped life.
James